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About Digital Art / Student FallenFemale/Denmark Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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I'm not Luna I'm her friend IFeelFreeLikeABird she told me her password long ago(before she left...Havenø''t heard from her since...) never thought U'd have a use for itt, thr thing is lots of my cuttent friends from myr booarding school is watxhing my user but they Arent at the level of friends that i'd tell abiut stuff and trust with something like this and my DA user was original so I could share personal things without any IRL knowing it...

Honestly there is a lot of perosnal stuff going on right now and I'm mess right now crying my eyes out and can hardly say thing it's like my voice close down when I'm sad or try to share really personal and scerect things, my voice just dies and liek small noises come out, almost whine like noises and just don't know what to do with myself??

I actually had a lot of stufuf to write and it was really going cray cray in my head!! But kinda of whne I was thinking about it and how I should write it down in this jounral, it kinda of disappered???? Like now yhat I'm wrieing this dowm to helo myself, I don't know what or how to write, like?? I don't know it was great inside my head and all... now it's just kinda a... a big blur??? I dont know...

The thing is my dad could have died on me and whouldnt even have known why before he died if it hadn'r been for him getting hosspilatesed? because of this issue, he has been drinking, I knew he was drinking while with my mom, the is the reason my mom left him... but she used the past tence when talking about as if he had stop drinking after she left him. Which he appaerntly hadnt as he ended up in the hospital becuase of it, the is thing that that isn't what is bothering but the way my mom kinda of ignored it?? Like she ddidnt tell me he was still drinking, beccuase she had been using the past tence when talking anout him drinking.
I asked my mo why she didn't tell me, my dad was still drinking? And she replies"It isn't/wasn't your fault!" and I've asked her that 3 times! She gave the same reply, but that wasn't my F damn question!!! I'm not F blaming myself here, ya know???? I'm askoing you why haven't you tole me? He is MY dad and ´he could have drank himself to F dead?? And I would, like first have known it after he died if he hadn't been hospitalessed because of it ALMOST killing him!!

Also my mom have been saying no matter what she would support me wether i be Hetro, Homo or Bi, so I came out to her as Asexual and showed her on Wiki or something what it was and she was like"It's probably ´just a phase or something???" and I've had a boyfriend(EVen if it's a few years back, by the way he was a A-hole it's almost like because I sending the signal I don't wanna tak e it further then kissing, he didn't want me and found somebody WHiLE we ere ddating, so I dumped his F ass)) and I had no desire to take it deyond kissing and honestly kissing was kinda only because he wanted to? Like I tried to do my best for him?? And when I had to move because my step-father wanted to move becuae he wanted to have his own farm, I really tried to keep contact with him?? Andd he F found someone else to be with!!! And he hadn't even called or messaged me or told me anything when I came to visit in the weekends??? And 6 months or something? I don't know after they had gotten together he TOLD me about it! And said he thought we had been over as boyfriend and girlfriend, and that now we were friends and had been just friends before/when he got this girlfriend of his?? I really wanted to slap his face BUT  HE JUST WASNT F WORTH IT!!! Like sh*t F YuO!?!!



This jouirnal is proabbly a big mess but you know what I don'y care!?!
Like ive tried to keep my act together but I'm F stressed out?! Like I've been it's o.k? There ain't anything to worry about I'm fine?? Don't worry about me! Iv'e tried to help others out and such instead make they happy becasye I liek helping people!!
But...
...........
BUT i'M NOT O.K???? EVERYTHIGN ISN'T FINE IM BREAKING APART MENTALLY AND PHSIHALLY?? LIKE iD ON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF IM A CRYING MESS, BUR I CANT SPEAK WITH MY MOM SHE DOESNT SSEEM TO UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I REALLTY NEDD HER MOST!! LIEK WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH SH*T ADVISE LIKE THAT?? "It isn't your fault dear!"tHAT DOENST HELP I KNOW ITS NOT MY FAULY AND THAT SINT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR


i dont i just dont reallt have anyone who really listens to me anymore here in Denmark, not after my grandma died when i was 7 that is... I have Stripie.... the teddy bear I got from my grandmother, my emotionally and mental pillar since I was 1 and I got her from my grandmo....



I don't know anymore... I just ain't o.k.... Everything isn't fine..... I'm a mess....
I'm just gonna go and cry myselg to sleep....

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:iconfireballstardraco:
FireballStardraco Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014
Happy Birthday :).
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:iconsnapexlily:
SnapexLily Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Merry Christmas, Luna! :hug:

snapexlily.deviantart.com/art/…
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:iconarmanie-zacharias:
Armanie-Zacharias Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist
Thanks so much for the fave!! :happybounce:
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:iconlunathewolfsoul:
lunathewolfsoul Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Student Digital Artist
You welcome
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:iconkhaifer:
Khaifer Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch! :hug: 
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